Utterly Delightful Dad Jokes

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mattstaff
Aug 22, 2020 10:00 PM EDT

There's a special place in our hearts for the good old fashioned dad jokes of the world. They're simple and unavoidably entertaining. Always good to bank on the dad jokes the next time a social gathering could use a little icebreaker. 

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  • 01
    Text - My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially when his name is Steve.
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  • 02
    Text - Child: I can't stand your jokes anymore, dad! Dad: Have you tried sitting down?
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  • 03
    Text - MARCH COMMERCIAL: during these uncertain times, we're thinking of you and your family AUGUST COMMERCIAL: look you might as well catch it at burger king
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  • 04
    Text - Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep.
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  • 05
    Text - A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says,"l think I might be a type O."
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  • 06
    Text - Tonce got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him. The odds were against me.
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  • 07
    Text - It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.
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  • 08
    Text - The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, soI moved the modem to the barn. Now I have stable wifi.
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  • 09
    Text - Have you heard the joke about Elton John? it's a little bit funny.
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  • 10
    Text - A man was found guilty of overusing commas. The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.
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  • 11
    Text - Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian... It was the least I could do for him.
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  • 12
    Text - My dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words... Be positive.
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  • 13
    Text - This is going to be the first year our family won't be going to Hawaii because of COVID-19. Usually it's because we can't afford it.
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  • 14
    Text - I alled my wife and asked her if I should pick up Fish and Chips on the way home from work and she hung up.. She's still angry she let me name the kids.
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  • 15
    Text - My wife really hates the fact that I have no sense of direction... Sol packed up my stuff and right.
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  • 16
    Text - I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was too uncommon. I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
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  • 17
    Text - A man has been stealing the wheels off police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
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  • 18
    Text - I changed all my passwords to Kenny. Now I have all Kenny Loggins.
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  • 19
    Grass - I was going to sit in the garden but it's really muggy outside...
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  • 20
    Text - I went bald early in life... Thave a comb... Ijust can't part with it.
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humor jokes dad jokes ridiculous funny
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